To my lazy staff, especially you, Jena.
I am typing this letter to issue some demands about the statues outside the main office in Pennsylvania. I want them built out of iron, not silver. I require them them to look like Benjamin Franklin and his friend, Josefe Stocking, not two men sharing a handkerchief . They are powerful men and need big statues, 8.7 feet at least. There are way too many wrinkles in both of their faces too.
I want it done by tomorrow or you will be executed. If you tell anybody, your family will be thrown in jail.
From David … your boss