Prompt – Red!

Three, two, one, take-off! They were off to the moon, three friends from the same class. They were on a school trip and had visited the Space Station; these naughty kids had decided they would sneak onto the space ship as a joke. They didn’t realise that the ship was about to do a test launch.

When it took off, the force was so strong that it through them to the back of the ship. When they hit the back walls, they smashed their heads and red blood gushed out. Sadly, they went to sleep and didn’t see the moon!

Categories: 100 Word Challenge


Anna · 12 November 2019 at 9:12 am

I think it was really well told but why was it a joke rockets are really dangerous sometimes and why were they there

    Harriet · 15 November 2019 at 7:37 am

    Hi I thought it was really good but I am just adding a suggestion you could add some more detail by Harriet

Harriet · 15 November 2019 at 7:36 am

Hi I thought it was really good but I am just adding a suggestion you could add some more detail by Harriet

Joshua · 16 November 2019 at 3:20 am

This was a very nice story and I like the DARK ending. Keep it up, kid!

Mrs Addleton · 16 November 2019 at 11:56 pm

Hello Hayley,
Sounds like the mischievous children had a narrow escape! I like the range of punctuation you have used to help make it easy to read your blog.
Mrs Addleton

mason · 19 November 2019 at 1:41 am

The idea was amazing for a year four congrats on that!
However I don’t like it how your mind thought of them bashing
Their heads open maybe next time don’t make it so gruesome.
Either way that was pretty good with your vocab and
Use of however using ; your teacher should be happy

KC · 19 November 2019 at 1:51 am

it was amazing,but you need to add more descriptive words.Also don’t make it related to blood because people might not like blood because it might make people nervous

patric · 19 November 2019 at 2:01 am

it is really good but very sad at the end

mason · 19 November 2019 at 2:04 am

I really liked it!
You could make it a bit less gruesome..
anyway its really good using your grammar so good like that!

ab2020 · 23 November 2019 at 1:47 am

I loved it shows what you should do😄😄.
When you said red blood gushed everywhere, it was a bit gruesome.
It was sooooo cool and funny.

Dj · 23 November 2019 at 1:51 am

It was a really great story, I loved it.
Because you’re a year 4 I wasn’t going to read it but I took a chance and it was great
I don’t think you need to change anything

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